A few months later, my wife and I decide to divorce after a 15-year marriage. It is very painful to leave home and be far away from my children. Divorce is tough. Unexpected divorce is even tougher. The emotional turmoil of breaking up a family could fill a book!
The combination of my company’s plummeting performance and my deteriorating personal performance due to the divorce begins to take a toll. The result is that my contract is not renewed. My only chance to stay in Asia Pacific is to accept an offer for the wrong position in the wrong profession but in the right country - Singapore. I assume a CFO role for a large semiconductor company in Singapore however, after a few months the company merges with another company. I’m not the CFO of the merged company.
My career stalls and for the first time in my life, I am unemployed. Without any income, my savings drain rapidly. I start a new business but it’ll take time to yield significant income. I’m back to square one. I struggle financially again. It is even worse than before. My career is stuck. The only good news is that the worst has already happened; I’ve hit rock bottom and the only direction is up. Or so I thought until the telephone rang.
A nervous voice calls me and asks me to come to see a specialist in the hospital. The hematologist is looking at me calmly but choosing his words carefully: “Sir, you have a condition called Essential Thrombocythemia (ET). It is a chronic form of leukemia where bone marrow makes too many platelets. You are at serious risk of blot clots which can lead to stroke, heart attack and even sudden death.”
“What’s the cure?” I ask.
“Unfortunately, there is no cure for this rare condition. The only treatment that has some success is chemotherapy oral medication,” the hematologist explains.
“For how long?”
His answer hits me like a bullet.
“For life.”
10 minutes later, I leave the hospital and my head is spinning. That’s it? Is this the end? In one year, I have lost my family, my job, my wealth, my health, and maybe even my life.
I ask myself: Have I lived fully? Have I mattered to people? Have I made any difference?
I hate my answers to these questions.
What I felt in front of the window with my view of the world in Hong Kong was a false success. It was not sustainable. It compromised every aspect of my life. I was so consumed by my career and financial success that I forgot to live. I neglected my loved ones. I had my priorities all wrong.
Not only was my success unreal; I also continuously wore a façade, masking how I really felt. I never shared my struggles with my friends. I was never vulnerable or asked for help. When someone would ask how I was doing, I faked a smile and lied about how great it all was, even when every aspect of my life was falling apart. It was more important for me to keep up the façade.
It was already midnight when my head suddenly stopped spinning. I began to feel a sense of relief and the heaviness in my chest faded quickly. I close my eyes and begin to envision a new life coming ahead. I start laughing—this is insane! I should feel defeated after hearing the news about my disease and the risk of death I’m facing, but instead, I feel reborn to new life. This moment. Now.
I visualize leading a large organization and helping millions of people improve their lives. I visualize that I’m healthy, fit and energetic—in the best shape ever. I visualize that I love and am loved by family and friends. I reach success without side effects. I accomplish my goals while staying connected and fully present in my relationships.
I finally fall asleep at dawn.